A little bit of Saturday

Most of my day was spent with a beautiful three year old who always manages to make my heart stronger. As many of you know I have a passion for children and I want some of my own someday! Madison and I started out our day playing with the puppies and then the park! Wow the park wore whit whit smooth out! Madi wanted to do everything by herself so that's what we did! We spent the rest of the day eating pizza, drinking Capri suns at Tom n Jackie's! Madison couldn't he enough! She wasn't ready to go home! Sacked out before we left shalimar an to meet her momma we went!

The rest of the day was pulling up boards and nails! And fixing the floor in the house where the dogs made a mess!! Project nEarly finished! Now if I can just get my tile laid! Daddy says he can do it for me!

Amber and bradley came down and I have been having girl time while the boys played outside...

Sleepy and ready for bed.
More hopin and wishing for something different!


-until next time...Miss Whit

Coffee & cat litter at midnight

This isn't a story that I would normally share outside our living room becAuse I seem to get easily embarrassed when it comes to this subject.

Bet I have you thinking all kinds of things at this point!

Haha here's the story of coffee & cat litter at midnight.

My very sweet hard working babe kind got caught up working yesterday and forgot to the let dogs in...Ohhh after all day! So we finally arrive home around 10 pm get the dogs watered and fed and well I was cleaning up an accident from one of our sweet darlings when Casey asked me if we could do something I have wanted to buy just wasn't strong enough to move one piece of furniture!

We quickly moved all the furniture out of the formal living room and started moving the very heavy entertainment center which was ruined so for the next twenty minutes or so we disassembled- very loud mind you at about 11:30 in a small quiet neighborhood! Oops!

Next we started to rip up the carpet to find out just how big of a mess we really had!

Evidently our sweet puppies were only doing what smelled natural to them by using the living room as the backyard!

Solution to this??

COFEEE AND CAT LITTER!


-until next time...Miss Whit

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow marks a big, possibly huge step for me. Why you ask?

Well because I am going to start seeing a counselor. (terrifying) I know. The first time someone mentioned this idea to me I absolutely BLOCKED it out. I didn't want anything to do with it. I thought only crazy people see shrinks. Nope this isn't like that. It's sitting down and having a conversation wit someone who is biased and choosing sides in my everyday life.

My support system is GREAT.

But, a lot of times talking to certain parts of it cause tension and maybe even some judgement on what I'm talking to them about. Or it causes relationships to in a sense separate. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

Why you ask?
My past isn't the prettiest thing in the world. Actually the majority of it is pretty screwed up. That big ole heart of mine kept me hanging on too long. After way to much bullshit I finally wised up and got out.

Our pasts do in fact shape us and make the life we want easier to figure out. But sometimes they can be detrimental to new friendships and mainly relationships. Our past also shapes confidence or in my case diminished it.

Confidence is something I'm definitely lacking. I don't know why. I've worked my rear off for everything that I have. And for a 21 year old in our time and day, I don't believe many compare. Confident statement or Cocky? So maybe I do have a little confidence left.

But it's time to turn a little bit into happy, confident, pretty-girl who is fearless and won't stop at anything to live her happily ever after. Before its to late.

I have the lord on my side and it's time to figure out where I'm headed and what road I need to take to get there. No more looking back. And only continue with the people who are really willing to stand beside me and put me first!

Here's to tomorrow & big steps towards the right road!

Because we aren't ever promised tomorrow and I wanna make sure I live my life to the FULLEST.



-until next time...Miss Whit

A little venting

Today has just been one of those days to where I just wanna crawl in a hole. I'm exhausted and new state bs at work is literally making me wanna rip my hair out. My safe place is home....sleeping! My biggest pet peeve is people who are frustrated with other points in life take it out on the ones closest to them. I mean we all get frustrated and I know that I do a lot. But it's my safe place that I need when im frustrated! Ok I think I'm done ranting! It'll all be ok-eventually


-until next time...Miss Whit

Even if it breaks your </3

So many of my daily thoughts should be left inside my head. But here lately I'm real tired of holding back. You win some, you lose some. I have never been a very self confident person. I've been through so many shitty things that I just don't even know what confidence is anymore. Most people say that "confidence" is a stain people can't wife up. Well mine has slowly been drowned in my own tears and more than that fears. So you ask why I continued to live the way I have. I have such a big heart I continue to try and see the good in people even if that means reading things I shouldn't have and knowing what I should do but continuing to try anyway. I know that one day no matter when someone will figure out what I'm worth even when I don't and cherish it and never do anything to jeapordize it. hopefully sooner than later. Because I feel like I'm walking down a paved road that's turning to dirt and once I hit the dirt I may never look back. A girl can only crumble before she cracks. What I can't figure out is how I deserve any of the things I know about but just can't confront them. So where do I go next?? Nope I'm not sure either
-until next time...Miss Whit

Location:Inside my head

At the end of the day?

What really matters?

We spend the majority of our lives running way too much and far too long and spend way too much time dwelling on the things in life that don’t really matter.

We go to school for at least 12 grades and we have no choice. It’s chosen for us. The majority of that time is spent being miserable. But we have absolutely no choice about being or not being there. When we get old enough to drive (16 years old) we might end up with some other freedoms. Driving, cars, hanging out with friends, in my case, involved beginning work. After those main 12 grades we than have a (Graduation). Everyone comes to celebrate the fact that you are A) still alive B) actually made it all 12 grades without getting into any major trouble or flunking out c) and the fact that they hope you have chosen to go on and make your life better by attending (COLLEGE).

(College)- Well there are several different ways you can go about this. You can have way too much fun and barely even make it through...some don’t. You can work your butt off and be done in just 2 years, or you can keep continuing your education because you’re just not happy… (Ever) and keep adding letters to the back of your name. Most of this time involves working to either A) support yourself, your family if you chose that route first, B) support your bad habits, or C) support yourself and the education you’re getting.

In the mean time of all of this time some may have either A) found love and lost it B) had their heart broken once, twice or maybe even a million times and are still searching c) found the person you love and want your (forever) with and they still quite aren’t sure, or D) or its combo of two people who love one another unconditionally E) MARRIED.

You’re (CAREER) well. This is supposed to be something you have a complete 100% passion for and can’t wait to wake up every day to do. (Careers) can be brought about by any way. You could have slaved away in school for years just trying to get your degree, you could have gone to a type of trade school, or you could just have happened upon a great opportunity.  Whatever it may be it’s just a great thing to have. Believe it or not we must have a job or career one we love or hate either way we must have something. We cannot survive without a job of some sort. Believe it or not we all have bills to pay. People to take care of being it a family or be it just yourself.

(DREAMS) are what we see in our future when we are just little girls. We see it almost as a fairy tale. One that we just can’t wait to grow up and see for ourselves. When I was little girl, like most I planned my perfect wedding to my perfect man and it was beautiful. It was extraordinary. It was my dream. Ever since I was little girl and fought a battle that some aren’t so lucky to win I have had the dream to do great things. I have a passion for people, because certain people had the passion to help the man upstairs save my life. I have this passion for life, and making others happy. I am always trying to be someone’s saving grace. I am always trying to save others.  I stick around way to long, a let people push me way to far, and I know that I should learn my lesson but I just can’t. But I always follow my heart. I may be ignoring the biggest signs. But I will always put my best effort into anything and hang on for too long. But I have a love in my heart for a person who I cannot imagine my life without. Things get tough and I get tested I get frustrated and I get ready to just flat out give up. What keeps me holding on?

(LOVE) I do believe after everything we have been through and I promise it’s been more than I would have ever been willing to handle. I get so angry and frustrated with the situation we are in. I have never actually been so happy to be around someone so much. At first I was terrified of the moving in step, moving home…because I have always been alone. In unhealthy relationships that would have never worked. But I actually want a life, with this person. He is normally there no matter when or what I need. He makes me laugh. He makes me question my old beliefs in love and life. He challenges me every day. A lot recently I have been thinking very hard because I have never felt so drained and challenged. What’s best for me, what is he really wanting, what are the thoughts in his head, am I overreacting, and I’m being a brat….I’m struggling.

So you (see) my main point. WE get so caught up in our everyday lives and all the hustle and bustle, of job, no job, new friends, old friends, new life, old life, stress, anger, fear, and worry that we truly forget what’s important.

(Love) is the only real thing that will get us through each day. Don’t forget to appreciate the ones who love you, that worry about you, that fear losing you and the life they have with you, and you fear losing the life that you have with them. (BECAUSE) your job, friends, enemies, trouble, old life are supposed to still exist, but the life you make with the love of your life is supposed to be number one.

(YOU) need someone to support you, hold your hand, pat your back, wake up with every morning, scratch your back, love you unconditionally, make you laugh, be your biggest fan, because your friends, family, job, children are just a plus! & you need it all to make a life.

The (point) is don’t forget or leave behind the ones you can’t picture your life without, because they might eventually not be there. Tomorrow is NEVER a guarantee.

Sacrifices

Haven't blogged in awhile. Frankly I've been crazy busy! So much going on in this crazy little life I live.

But mainly the reason for my blog tonight & late night blog at that is a heavy heart. Some feel as though this could be whining because I don't have it bad at all. We have military men an women who are away from their families while protecting our country and giving us our many freedoms. There are also ones who have lost the ones who mean the most to them. So when I say what I'm about to say please understand I'm not whining. Just simply being a tad sad & hoping one day the back and forth, short weekends, hustle and bustle can become a slow life of love but mainly enjoyed together.

Everyone makes sacrifices in this life we all live. We make those sacrifices to be able to live. To give. To love. To smile. To be happy and to share your life....with others. We all think we have been in love before, some have...but in my case I do believe it's all been a chapter in my book leading up to what love really is. Believe it or not love is laughing, giving your all to someone else and for someone else, to make them happy, doing for them and expecting nothing in return, falling and not being afraid, doing things that you may not totally enjoy but you do it because you support your life, love and will do anything to ensure there happiness even if sometimes its hard on you. It's hard on them too, even if they don't show it. So next time you whine and think why do I work so much or spend so much time on some project or even if it's the dishes or laundry, know that it's the little sacrifices that everyone does for the loves in their life. Tonight I miss my love and I don't enjoy this empty house. But I thank him for loving what he does and having a passion to do his best for him and even for me. However I do pray that one day we can spend life together more. Believe it or not I do kinda love the guy!


-until next time...Miss Whit