Finally Friday

My week has honestly been filled with a lot of emotions. Im not really sure if I am coming or going.
I hate hot/cold in so many other ways than just the weather.
Many things in this crazy thing we call life just aren't adding up. But im not really sure where im falling short.
My goal when I wake up each day is to make others smile, and happy. In doing so, sometimes I forget the number 1…Me.
I work two jobs trying to get something started, but truthfully I am flat exhausted.
Most of the people I work with at my second job are just back stabbing…___________
Yeah. I will let your imagination fill that blank. I get so tired of constantly having to watch what I say for I know how it will eventually be turned around. Guess what my life is none of your business. If you have anything to say to me, or about me. Please feel free to grow a pair and say it to my face, instead of once I walk past you. Guess what im not as stupid as you think I am. I catch you everytime you think im not around.

 
My primary job is just a little short of wonderful. I love the people I work with & our doctor even though he has his days is a great Dr. to work for. I enjoy getting up and going to work most days. Finally feel like I am out of the 100% new learning stage. I don't know everything but at least, I have some knowledge and a place to start bettering myself. We have made a couple trips here lately to the OR, boy do I miss that place. (never thought id say that outloud.) My job has wonderful perks but my heart in really in the OR. The money sure isn't though!
Here lately all I feel like is im a day late & a dollar short! Like I just cant make anything work. Cant make anyone happy! These are feelings I hate more than anything. I have always felt like im falling short. I have great accomplishments behind me, but something is missing. I know that if I wait it out, I will figure out what it is. But the waiting is killing me

 
ON a happier note I spent lots of time last week while waiting to have dinner accidentally Christmas shopping for a very special person. I am so bad a surprises the suspense of having to wait to give the actual gifts is killing me! Killing me so much that its more than a month early and I have already bought and wrapped the Christmas presents. Yes I am fully aware that its not even thanksgiving yet. So for now here is all I can show you.

 
November 4,2011 would have been a very very very special lady's birthday! We still celebrate it, even though shes up there watching over us. I miss my gram everyday. She was not only one of my biggest supporters but she was a great grandmother. Never missed a practice, a game anything really. Before each one of my bastketball games she would always bring me a cheesey baked potato from THE mesquite bean in merkel. I couldn't play basketball without it. We lost this special woman April 19,2007. My sofphmore year. The night before she passed away was just a normal school night for me, but one that involved taking the dreaded taks test the very next day. She called like she did many nights and asked if mom was home & she wasn't so I told her to catch her on her cell phone. I didn't realize that this would be the last conversation I had with my gram. My whole world changed that next day. Forever you hold a special place in my heart. I miss you and your support every day.. thankfully I know your watching over me. Love you gram

 
Let me just go ahead and add some more mixed feelings here to this little blog! I definitely got off work at noon on a Friday today! Didn't even have to work at luskeys! Took babes clothes to the cleaners in Abilene. Made a short drive to good ol clyde America and started working on moms new phone ( Jackies old iphone) that she is so graciously loaning her until she can get hers, since the one I got her didn't work! Thankfully I didn't wait to give it to her or I wouldn't have got my money back! Since I only had 14 days!!! While working on moms phone I found all kinds of old pictures on her school computer! Wow! Haha they were funny! Out of all of them I only stole a few!

& yes everyone that is my natural hair color!

 
Oh & then I went on home & started laundry! Fun! Yesss I know!
Wrapped presents! Yess! I love it
& I even decided betty crocker and I had a date! – Sopapilla cheesecake it was! Delish!

YUMMM!
Since casey is still gone to finish out my day im at my mom & dads- both brothers are even here!
Potatoes in the oven & steaks on the grill! And some bulldog football on the radio. Sure breaks my heart that my little brother cant play

Love my number 89!