We all fall down...sometimes

Lying here tonight I am wondering what this thing called life is really all about. The house is silent and desperately in need of being cleaned. The puppies are sleeping after stealing the left over pizza off the stove. The tv is on old tv shows that I enjoyed as a kid when I was stuck at the baby sitters because I wasn't allowed to stay with other children, because I was too ill and would get sick by other children's normal sicknesses. I spent half the day remembering how hard it is to not worry even though your strong enough to know it will be ok in the end. I furniture junked with my mimaw who is one lady who will lift a quiet spirit right back to the loud, energetic one that really exists. I have managed to paint one hand of 5 fingers. I sanded and began painting my latest project. But where was the joy in my day? I feel like the life has been and is being sucked out of me. I have read minds and hearts. But cannot manage to read my own. So for now I believe I'll lay here and think and pray to fall asleep tonight. And wake with peace and answers. Something is missing and even the best fall down...sometimes.