April 19,2007

April 19, 2007

Taks day of my sophomore year was already going to be something I wanted nothing to do with… but little did I know it would end up being one of my worst possible nightmares too. There I sat patiently waiting to be released from my arch enemy teachers classroom from taking my horrific taks test when the intercom buzed and asked for me to come to the office. I was already wondering what was going on because I knew I didn’t have anything pressing to do that day. I remember it being the longest walk to the office to find out what they needed from me. But when I walked into the office I immediately knew something life changing was coming my way. My grandparents at 16 years old were there to pick me up from school. I knew this wasn’t good. I began screaming and crying for someone to tell me what in the world was going on when my mimaw started to tear up and told me my Gram had passed away in the night. From that second on I kinda sorta left the earth because I couldn’t quite grasp to me what she had said. My Gram was…one of the most important people in my life and I just wanted it to be a dream. I couldn’t even understand why or what or anything for that matter. What was even worse was My dad hadn’t told my Mom yet and I was just stuck waiting at my grandparents (whom I love with all my heart) but I felt helpless. My mom needed me. She needed us all. She needed all the strength and support she could get. This next few days leading up to the Funeral was a total haze. I know that she was with the Lord, but I still didn’t understand why he took her so soon. She had so much left to do, so many golf games to play, so many beers to drink, so many trips to take, so many things to watch us do. I couldn’t understand.

5 years ago my whole life changed. Sometimes I still think and feel like I just haven’t seen her in a very long time. That she will walk through my door and tell me how proud she is of me and the things I have worked so hard for, to bring me a cheesy baked potato from Mesquite Bean, to say “well….lets make a move, or wanna go for a drive. She taught me to drive a standard. She worked so hard to teach me and It took me forever. She bought me my first set of GOOD golf clubs. She let me come stay with her and drive her around the golf course while she played a round with her friends. They were all partners in crime, fun, trips and some amazing golf playing. I miss it. I miss it all. I miss her making me pitch or hit over and over again because I needed to practice. Or her getting impatient because I wasn’t quite getting it. But she was determined to teach me. She would tell me to walk…that meant I was fixing to get roped. She would tell Rex her border collie to load up and that meant we were headed somewhere. Every Sunday she didn’t miss keeping time for the roping… life just isn’t the same.

Don’t get me wrong. MY family, mom, dad, laramy, mimaw, granddad, my Aunt Cara, Uncle Randy and Riley, extended family etc, are amazing but I miss my GRAM. I am very thankful to have grandparents like my mimaw and granddad who take up the slack for all of us but mainly my mom.

So what im here to tell you is PLEASE, don’t take a day with someone you love for granted for you make wake up with the worst nightmare of your life to realize they are gone..and you didn’t even get to tell them bye. The last conversation you have may consist of… “ No mom isn’t here,” “you can call her on your cell phone” and a hang up. I don’t even remember if I told her I loved her or when they last time before that I had seen her. So please don’t take a second for granted. Its been 5 years.

 Love you Gram,


Today and everyday we CELEBRATE YOU!